I’m excited that Alicia has asked me to write a post about being a single dad in honor of National Single Parent Day.
For me, the most important thing was always about being there for my boys. Everything else didn’t matter. I think that’s how most parents feel. Single dads definitely deal with some unique circumstances.
First off, the court feels that mothers are the most important parent for children, not the dad. I realize that many dads don’t want to support their children. That wasn’t the case in my situation. I wanted the boys when I divorced and my ex didn’t so my custody was uncontested. Even though I removed them from a dangerous situation, the court still saw fit to give my ex unsupervised visitation. If it were the other way around, the court would have probably denied me any visitation rights.
For me, the most important thing was always about being there for my boys. Everything else didn’t matter.
Everyone I met also treated me very differently. It’s so rare for a father to get custody in a divorce; everyone treated me like I was Darth Vader. I must have done something evil to their mother to steal the children from her! People assumed I was this bad guy because I had the boys – even people who knew me.
That put me in the awkward situation of having to explain everything. Explain how their mother continually put them in danger. That for the three years we were separated, she never once called to speak to them or see how they were doing. Then they understood, but their first impression of me was always bad.
Fortunately the boys were never exposed to any of this. And when we met Alicia and Ariana (our daughter) our family became complete! Today we are the closest family and we love doing everything together. In the end, supporting our children in every way created the amazing family we are today!
So happy National Single Parent Day to all the single dads out there (and single moms). You deserve to be praised everyday for the love and support you provide to your children.
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