March 21st is the day set aside to observe National Single Parent Day. What? I had no idea! Congratulations to all those single parents including me. I know what you’re doing. No, it’s not easy. Most of us didn’t plan to raise our children this way, so the reasons why we are single parents are usually traumatic and very stressful.
Mine was very traumatic. I was going through domestic abuse (I’ll talk about this in another post) and when I had my daughter I realized I had to get out of there immediately. Long story. But I made it. And when I did, I started a journey with my daughter full of uncertainty, fear, infinite questions, loneliness, facing judgment, critics, financially unstable and other things. BUT. My love for her and my great desire to make her the happiest girl in the world gave me the strength to surf the highest waves the ocean threw at me.
I questioned my self over and over while I fought. I was a piano teacher. My salary covered our basic needs. But I never stopped looking and working for a better life for us. We moved five times from one country to another Venezuela, Spain and the USA. I went to college in the States, not knowing the language, without money. Cleaning houses, Synagogues, teaching piano, Spanish, cleaning cat poop. I got my Bachelor Degree in three years CUM LAUDE. I learned what I was capable of because of this journey, and she did too.
I never felt I was giving her enough, but when she was old enough she taught me this important lesson that I want to share with you. The most important thing you can give your children as a single parent is your love. Your love! Make sure they know, tell them, show them with little moments, quality moments. Listen to them, look at them, like I like to say, be their ears, eyes, arms, bosom.
I know we feel guilty because we have to work so hard, we’re tired, we have so little time with them. Little things, little quality moments like eating together at the table and talking, laugh, make jokes, read a story at night, prepare snacks together, see the stars, walk together, play whatever they love together. You don’t need money for these moments. I did it with my daughter. It worked! Now she’s an amazing young woman in every way!
She told me she remembers her childhood being so happy because I was there for her. She remembers my love for her. My eyes, ears, arms, and bosom. I want you to know this, so you stop questioning yourself or listening to judgements and critiques from others. As long as you’re there for your children and make sure they know you love them, and that you’re doing your best, please go to bed in peace.
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